Words that actually came out of my mouth this evening:
Technically, these words were yelled- at a considerable volume- to an unsuspecting fellow shopper, who narrowly missed running over the dropped half pound of Lorraine swiss. I ran to the deli counter, plucked up the wayward bag of cheese, thanked said fellow shopper, and made my merry way toward checkout, happy to have rescued my cheese from certain squishy doom. And then I realized what I had just bellowed across the produce section. Don’t run over my cheese? Had the words come from someone else, I would have pointed and laughed in a manner that would have surely shamed my mother. I would have run home and recorded the words in a “strange phrases actually heard” book. Oh, no. I am the crazy cheese lady.
Come to think of it, maybe I should start such a book. Does anyone have any strange and/or humorous one-liners they’d like to share?